Showing posts with label insomnia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insomnia. Show all posts

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Still not sleeping...

Good grief! As if insomnia is not bad enough, I had a couple of disturbing dreams last night this morning!

The more disturbing one was... I am lying on the bottom bunk of my childhood bunk bed. A plain-clothed home nurse is prepping a hypodermic needle. A friend is nearby. The nurse uses an alcohol soaked swab to prep a small area on the back of my right knee, and then uses a scalpel to gently scrape off a melanoma. The flesh-colored raised mole unfurled and swelled before becoming totally loosed and required 3 scrapes with the scalpel to remove. The nurse was intrigued by the mole and said it looked, "Cool, like Kool-Aid!".. is she talking to a child? My mind immediately linked Kool-Aid to the Jim Jones' cult mass suicide. Considering the gravity of the melanoma and the use of Kool-Aid to carry Jones' cyanide, I did not find her comment reassuring at all, and I reminded her of the Jones' incident, challenging that her new specimen is not "cool like Kool-Aid." She conceded and cleaned a split on my middle finger on my right hand. I had what I call a 'cold-split' on the top corner of my finger, at the corner of my fingernail, that only occurs in very cold weather. The nurse uses a hypodermic to numb the finger and then used a quick-stitch gizmo to shoot a couple stitches to pull the split together. It seems this is a pro bono comfort-favor to me, the patient, that we arranged prior to the mole removal. (NOTE: I do NOT have raised moles of any kind, anywhere!)

The other dream I remember was shorter... people were not wearing pants. Everyone had their butts covered, bathing suits, underpants, shorts, etc... but it was odd for no one to have pants. I even was discussing with a couple neighbors (also no pants) about the oddity, and they were equally confused...
**(OOOOHHH! I just figured that one out! I only have one pair of jeans with no rips... in the mind of a woman, "I have no pants!"... Okay... well, I'll leave this one in, just in case it helps someone else figure out their no pants/shirt/car dream!)

Okay! Time for breakfast! I'm awake now. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

While you were sleeping...

I was up at all hours of the night. Insomnia is a mean devil. It's all about school. I know it is! Classes are going well, and the semester ends next week... but tuition payments for next semester are due at the end of THIS week... and I don't have it. I have been searching careerbuilder.com for job opportunities, applied to a few with no response!! Not even a how do you do?! Not to give up, I started listing everything that is not nailed down on eBay (seller: and_ankhira) ... I have $40. Not even close. So, not giving up, I sent application to the last-resort Sallie Mae... "Aunt Sallie" will allow me to borrow but I have to have a sit down with the university loan officer, AND I STILL NEED A JOB!!
a job, well ... food service is not my cup of tea. I just don't like people. Plus, my hair falls out. Not in big clumps, but a strand here, there... I have to sweep the bathroom daily. I am EXTREMELY concerned when I am dealing with food, especially other people's food... there just isn't enough hairspray in the world.
And, I get flustered or confused easily when I am around others. I get nervous handling money, because I am afraid I will make a mistake. Plus, I worry that I am taking too long and holding people up.
WHAT I WANT TO DO IS RESEARCH AND ANALYSIS... some other students in my class agree. It's what they prefer, too. I guess rock-hounds prefer working with rocks instead of people because the rocks don't talk back, can't fire you, don't require financial transactions, never take too long a break, and if you DO get frustrated with a rock you can take a hammer and bust it!!

All to say I am very anxious. I am excited to be going to school in a program I enjoy, but anxious because I just cannot seem to get my eggs to stay in the basket and be counted!! GOOD GRIEF!!